POST MODERN BABY BLOG

Baby's First Iced Coffee... Yum!

2009-05-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

Baby's First Carbonated Beverage!

2009-05-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

Nicki and Auntie Marie

2009-05-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

Grandma Comes By For A Visit

2009-04-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

I See the Lights!

2009-04-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

We are very skeptical....

2009-03-31T20:13:00.000-07:00

Nicki's one-month birthday!

2009-03-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

Here We All Are

2009-03-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Nicki's First Screen Test

2009-03-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Grandma visits Nicki

2009-03-10T18:58:00.000-07:00

Sleep Of The Just

2009-03-07T08:40:00.000-08:00

Parenthood, Day 8

2009-03-02T20:22:00.000-08:00

Here he is! Nicomedes Raymond Cavanaugh Gier, Born: 2/22/09

2009-02-27T13:59:00.000-08:00

Famous Babies Throughout History

2009-02-19T14:10:00.001-08:00

Baby Shower

2009-02-12T13:46:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics from the baby shower about a week and a half ago....

Example Ex Nauseum

2009-02-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

OK, this is exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about. Over the weekend, a column called Bay Area Moms on SFGate (the website for the San Francisco Chronicle) ran a contest asking people to send in pics of their messy babies. Here is the winner... OK... Am I the only one that thinks this pic is disgusting? This child look to me like either:

1) The person next to him was shot in the head with a shotgun, or

2) This baby is actually a zombie and has just fed upon his nanny's face.

If you think this is cute, please let me know. And also, let me tell you this: You will never see a pic of my child like this one posted on this blog. If you want to see my kid with a messy face then you can come over and feed him.

MANIFESTO

2009-02-02T22:10:00.000-08:00

Me and my girlfriend Celia are having a baby. Well, she's having the baby, but believe me I was involved in a pivotal way.

My friend Shawn put together a blog for his baby Harley who was born last summer, and he suggested I do so as well. The problem is a prerequisite of the baby blog seems to be cuteness, and I have always had an aversion to cuteness(Shawn's blog is so cute you could sweeten your coffee with it).

And when I say cute, I don't mean, "Man, that chick on the morning bus who wears tight jeans and is always reading British motorcycle magazines is really cute!" Well, she's more hot than cute, but you know what I'm saying. The kind of cute I'm talking about is stuff like Care Bears, or people who put hats and sunglasses on their dogs, and yes, YES! And babies! People and their babies!

But... People say that once the baby is born that I will simply look at him and my cold, black shriveled heart will melt("the Grinches heart grew two sizes that day"). And... I don't know... They're probably right to a certain extent. Over the last few years my defenses against chronic cuteness have begun to fail me. Occasionally I do see a cute baby, and you don't even want to be near me if I see a bulldog! You know, with their big, fat cute, ugly faces! Just adorable! Ooh... Uh, excuse me. As I was saying, I have even been seen playing with children. What happened to me?! I used to be cool!

So, here is the Post Modern Baby Blog. And here is our manifesto:

MANIFESTO:

1) We will chronicle the remaining three-to-four weeks, and subsequent passage into this mad, mad world of Nicomedes Raymond Cavanaugh Gier (that's his name, Nicki for short)

2) At no point will any graphics of this blog contain cartoon bears, rainbows, clouds, and especially unicorns!

3) We will never use the words, "caca" or "doody".

4) We will never show pictures of diapers actually being changed.

5) We will never show pictures of any bodily fluids(caca, doody, throw-up, drool, etc)

6) We will never show pictures of his, uh, business.

7) We will never show pictures of him with funny hats and sunglasses on (well, maybe hats).

8) We will never, ever put captions pretending like we are speaking from the babies point of view (the guilty know who they are!)

9) We will never show this blog to Celia's mother.

The manifesto is ever-evolving, so other things I don't want to put in here may occur to me as time goes by. And also, as I said, once the baby arrives I may just turn into the biggest, lamest caca-doody-loving daddy in the world and this will all be out the window. Actually, I can pretty much guarantee you I won't start loving caca-doody.